Betterman 1: Severus Snape
by The Lost And Found Traveler
Summary: Very Much AU. A certain Potter and a certain Snape share the same compartment on the Hogwarts express. And nothing is the same. Marauders era.
1. Chapter 1

Betterman Series #1: Severus Snape

By The Lost Wanderer

:A/N: Hey, this is a kind of odd idea I had when I saw a comic called Betterman in a store window. And then I thought, hey, what if some little thing is changed from canon (such as a certain Potterboy and a little greasy-haired kid sharing a compartment in their first year.) How much would that differ from canon? The idea kind of got in my head, and I've got to write it out of me. What other people do you think would benefit from a Betterman treatment? Anyway, enjoy the fic.:

Chapter 1: External Switch

Severus Snape sat in a compartment on the Hogwart's Express, trying to work out exactly what it was he was feeling at the moment. He was happy, of course, and nervous, and excited and a bunch of other things all running around in his head. Being a methodical bloke by nature, he wanted everything in it's right place, everything neat and ordered and labeled. He was happy, because not two months ago he had received a letter of acceptance to Hogwarts, a school of magic were he could learn to become a wizard. His mother had told him (in a dull, listless voice that seemed to hold no life at all) that she was proud of him and that he should try his best. Then his father had yelled at her to bring him another beer, and she had to leave. He clenched his fists and forced himself to count to ten, as he sometimes had too when thinking about his father. _Stupid old Muggle,_ Thought Severus with a bitterness that was quite terrifying coming from an 11-year old boy. _Stupid fucking prick always told me that I was no good, wouldn't amount to anything. Yeah, he tells me that as he sits in his goddamn chair all day, drinking beer and watching the telly. Well, I'll show him. I'll be the best in my class, and then when I go home at the end of school, me and mom will get the hell out of there._

The compartment door opening snapped him out of his reverie. 2 first years walked in, looked around, and noticed Severus sitting there, looking at them with a sizing up look on his face. The first one was a small, skinny boy with glasses and messy hair. The second one was slightly bigger and had a face that hinted at nobility. "Do you mind if we sit in here with you?" said the one with the messy hair.

Severus nodded towards the seat across from him. "Go ahead. Are you two first years as well?"

"Yes, I'm Sirius Black and he's James Potter." Said Sirius Black. They both sat down across from Severus. A silence arose from them. Finally, Severus asked, "Which Quidditch team do you favor?", leaving out the fact that he knew little to nothing about Quidditch, as his father never let his mother tell him things about the wizarding world.

"Well, I like Wimbourne," said James.

"And, call me crazy, but I've always's supported Chudley. What about you?" Asked Sirius.

" Well, you know, I do like Ireland." Said Severus, in what he hoped to be a good tone.

"Ireland? Well, you do know that they just got slaughtered by Wimbourne, right?" Said James with a bit of a grin.

"Oh, I didn't. Thank you for telling me." Said Severus, cursing himself mentally.

"Are you from a muggle family?" asked Sirius.

"No" was all Severus said. The silence decended again. The countryside blurred by as the train seemed to hurtle along at uncomfortable speed. Then James said, "what house do you reckon you'll be in ? I think that Gryffindor sounds like it might be fun. 'Course, all my family's in Gryffindor, so I guess maybe that was what I might get into. What about you-hey, what's your name?"

"Severus Snape." Sirius sniggered.

" Oh, so my name is funny? Can you at least try to be serious, Sirius?" Said Severus, laughing a bit.

" Yeah, and I haven't heard that one before, either. Go on, tell us what house you think you might be in."

Severus thought about it. While he considered Slytherin, he had heard some distasteful rumors about them. Apparently, they were supposed to be a shifty crowd. Not that there was anything wrong with not being to overt, but…

"I also believe that Gryffindor might be a good choice. What about you?"

And the train sped on to Hogwarts, carrying it's load of the future.

:A/N: I know I'll probably get utterly killed for setting up Snape to be a Gryffie, but you know what? It's my story, so if you don't like, don't read. Next chapter will go up If anyone at all is interested.:


	2. To Hogwarts

:A/N: Since a couple people reviewed, I'll post the second chapter. Please review, it makes me happy to know that I don't suck. Ah well. Read and enjoy.:

Chapter 2: To Hogwarts

A few minutes later, the trolley witch showed up, pushing her cart of sweets. Severus, who had no money to speak of, slouched down in his seat and pulled out his Potions book. Sirius leaped up and proceded to buy out the cart. When he came back to his seat with a precariously balanced stack of sweets in his arm, Severus just stared. " When's the famine, Black? I might need to stock up a bit."

Sirius laughed. It was oddly like a bark. "I'm a growing boy, Severus. I need to keep my strength up!" And with that, he started to tuck into the sweets at an explosive rate. Severus glanced at James and James just shrugged. " He's always's like this. Sometimes, though, he can be dead annoying."

Sirius looked up from the Chocolate Frog he was about to cram into his mouth. " I heard that, Potter. I guess I won't share some of this stuff with you after all, how about that ?"

"Oh, I'm so terrified, Black. An entire 2, 3 hours without sweets, followed by the biggest feast that any of us have ever been to. Why, if you ate that lot, you'd end up eating nothing at the feast!" Said James with a sarcastic grin.

"Good point, James. Oi, Severus, wanna help me clear this lot?" Said Sirius.

Severus was more than happy to oblige. While he and Sirius were stuffing themselves silly, James picked up Severus's potion's discarded book and leafing through it absent mindedly. "Well, Potions seems relatively straight-forward. Just like following the recipe, right?"

Severus looked up, grimacing. He had just ate a hairball-flavored bean. "Well, it's the first year, there not going to give us anything that's too difficult. I expect that when we get more advanced, maybe we'll do harder stuff-like making your own potion."

Sirius said, "Tha' Souns' L' Fu."

Severus And James stared. "Say again, Sirius?" Asked Severus in a dignified voice.

"I said, that sounds like fun."

Then, the compartnent door opened and a sad-faced boy with his school robes already on walked in. "Do you mind if I sit in here?" He asked.

"Sure come on in. Here, have some food. Severus here is slowing down."

Severus snorted. "I'm just saving space for some real food, Black. Unlike you, it seems like you're trying to mske yourself sick."

"We'll see when we get to the castle, Snape. I'll still eat you under the table."

The sad-faced boy laughed and accepted a pack of Licorice Wands from Severus. "Thanks. My name is Remus Lupin, by the way."

"Severus Snape."

"Sirius Black."

"Remus, old boy! How really corking to meet you!" Said James, with an exaggerated mayoral accent and, seizing Remus's hand, began to pump it up and down, grinning like a madman. They all laughed for a long while.

Sooner or later, it was time to get off. All of the older kids walked towards a bunch of carriages that were near a big lake. A big, booming voice called out, "Firs' years over here! Firs' years over here, please!"

Severus looked over, and saw the hugest man he ever saw holding a lantern high above his head. He looked wild, with his great beard and tiny beetle eyes, but he seemed to be alright.

They walked over to where the big man was standing, which was by the lake. There was a bunch of little boats swaying in the dark water. Remus, James, Severus, and Sirius all piled into the little tiny boat. They could see the dim outlines of the others settling into their boats. Once everyone was in, the big man (who took up an entire boat all by himself) said "Forward!"

There was a jerk, and the boats started to move all by themselves. Remus gasped and held the side of the boat very tightly. "How are the boats moving? No one's rowing, or anything!"

James and Sirius both laughed. "Remus, calm down. It's just magic, you know?" Said James.

Severus reached out a reassuring hand. "Don't worry, Remus. I don't know that much about magic, either. Besides, it's not like it's gonnna tip us up in the middle of the lake, right?"

"That man over there, he might tip his boat." Said Remus, pointing over towards the bobbing boat that held the big man. It was tipping rather drunkenly towards the left.

They reached the shore, and the ones who had gotten wet were shivering. (Remus was shivering too- but not from the cold. Apparently, he was easily motion sick.)

The crowd of 11-year olds walked up the path to the large and lit castle that had materialized as they crossed the lake. They might have been scared, but the big man and his swinging lantern was strangely comforting. Severus felt that the big man would probably protect all of them if something happened. Behind him, Sirius and James were discussing something about sorting, and beside him Remus was waking along with his long gait. Soon they reached the castle and for a moment, in eerie perfect unison, Severus and Remus both threw their heads back and stared at the giant and ancient castle.

The many lights in the castle made it look like there was a faint luminescence about it. It was strange and wonderful. A call broke through their shared silence. "Oi, you two, stop catching the view and hurry up!" Yelled James from the general throng around the door. They both shook themselves, shared a look, and then they were racing to see who would get to the door first.


	3. Not A Chapter

Not A Chapter┘

For any of you who still care, I found this story again (tell ya true, I found this site again) and felt a little kick. I will most likely continue this story, and if it▓s only mutters in a deserted back alley, then that is enough. There will be another chapter here soon. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Severus tried to keep close to James and Black, who were nonchalantly strolling through the enormous castle as if it were no less strange than a path in the woods. Severus and Remus were awestruck at everything. The sheer size, for one thing. The roof over there heads stretched many feet above the wondering 11- year old's head. And then were those wonders that could only be classified as- well, magical. The portraits on the wall, they were _moving. _He watched one fat old man ponder unhurriedly from one painting to the other to converse with a wild looking woman wearing an extremely large feather in her bonnet. Severus gave a small smile. He could like it here.

The women who lead them turned around and said to them all in a voice that brooked no nonsense, "We are now about to enter the Great Hall for the Sorting. I will call you up by name. Approach the stool and put the Hat on you head. Any questions?"

Severus did not see how her explanation led to any questions whatsoever, and said as much to Remus. The other boy smiled, and Severus wondered, not for the first time, why the other boy looked so down.

All thoughts of Remus were struck from Severus' mind when he entered the Great Hall. The ceiling was doing a funny trick, sure, but he had other things on his mind. _So many people…_, he thought as he swayed sickly and worked his hardest not to pass out. He knew he was being illogical and freaking out, but he became convinced that his father was hiding in this massive crowd, and when he went to bad that night, his father would be there…

The world swayed as Severus hit the ground in an undignified heap.

XXXX

The world certainly took it's time coming back into focus. At first all he could see were peach things who murmured in low whispers. Then they coalesced into different face. It was Remus and Sirius. He also realized he was in a bed, in what he recognized as an Infirmary. He was very thirsty, so he meant to ask for a drink of water, but all that came out was a caw. They both turned to him.

"Severus, you ok? You took a nasty crack off the floor." Said Remus, with a worried tone.

"Yeah, I feel ok… wait, did I miss the Sorting?" Said Severus in near-panic. A horrible image rose unbidden to his mind: him sitting alone on a small table in the Great Hall, separated from all the other students, houseless. Alone.

Sirius glanced at the clock on the wall. "Yeah, you were out for a few hours. They'll probably do your Sorting now, now that they know you're up.

Severus was relieved, and was about to say so when a women entered the room from a little office, and Severus saw, or thought he saw, a quill writing all by itself.

"Ah, good, you're awake. How are you feeling?," asked the women, who was wearing a sort of nurses outfit, if you can get that feeling from robes.

"I feel fine. I'm sorry for causing trouble…" Said Severus, feeling guilty of having other people bother with his problems.

"No problem at all, dear. You aren't the first one to get a little nervous at their Sorting. I remember my own, thought I'd melt right into the floor. If you're up, you can get out of that bed. A simple fainting, you don't need more than a couple hour's bed rest." She said, all in one breath, it seemed. As Severus was getting out of the over-large bed, he asked Sirius, "What are you guys doing here? I'm sure you have better things to do than watch me sleep."

Sirius shrugged. "Not really. It's the first night, no homework to pretend to do, right?"

Severus nodded, and then a thought struck his mind. "What House are you two in?"

Remus answered for both of them. "Me, James, and Sirius are all in Gryffindor." Seeing the look on Severus' face, he was quick to add, "I'm sure you'll be in there as well."

Sirius nodded in agreement, as a voice spoke to them from the doorway. "If we are curious to that fact, we can attend to that matter right away."

Severus looked, and saw the oldest man he had ever seen in his life. He had moon shaped glasses, and the longest beard Severus had ever seen. He looked like a picture of that old wizard, Merlin.

"As you were not present for my opening speech, let me introduce myself. I am Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of the school. If you would accompany to my office, we can attend to your Sorting," said the headmaster. "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black, you may work your way back to you Common Room. Remember, if you get hopelessly lost, just ask a portrait. They should point you in the right direction, if you ask them politely."

Remus and Sirius left, looking excited at the chance to get hopelessly lost. The headmaster turned to the nurse and asked, "Just a spot of nerves, then, Poppy?"

"Yes, Albus, no other signs of reactions." said the nurse.

"Well, that's fine. Come along, Mr. Snape. I think we'll have an easier time of it than your friends, although who can say? Even I do not know all of Hogwarts secrets." said the headmaster, as he and Severus walked out of the door.

In the halls, Severus was more used to the sight of the moving portraits. They walked what seemed to Severus miles and miles, and his eyelids were starting to droop. He began to miss the bed he just left. Finally, they reached a stone gargoyle that the headmaster stopped at. Severus nearly ran away when the thing spoke.

"Password?," it said.

"Funions," said the headmaster cheerfully.

The gargoyle sprang out of the way, revealing a stairway. Severus stared at the headmaster. "Excuse me, sir, how do you know about Funions?"

"I have a fondness for Muggle food, Mr. Snape. I must admit, it is an eccentricity that few in the Wizarding world understand." said the headmaster, who began to climb the stairs. Severus followed.

At the top of the stairs stood an open door, and what Severus could only assume was the headmaster's office. A rather large desk predominated the room, but there was many other interesting things to look at in this office. A magnificent bird with bright red plumage squawked at him from it's cage. A battered old hat sat on a three legged stool. Dumbledore went over to this hat and picked it up.

"Do you know how the Sorting works, Mr. Snape?" Severus shook his head. He had no idea how any of it worked. "Well, you are going to place the Sorting hat on your head, and it will tell what house you are to be in. Simple, yes?"

Severus had to agree. The Headmaster gestured to the stool, and Severus took his seat. As Dumbledore set the hat upon his head, he heard him mumble to the hat, "No need to shout, remember. It's just me."

After a couple seconds, he heard a voice inside his head. _Ah, our little fainter, is it? Not to worry, not to worry. Let's see what we have in here… hmmm, oh ho, someone is going to __prove themselves, eh? Not a bad mind, but not enough for Ravenclaw… Hufflepuff is all wrong for you too, my lad. So, that leaves Slytherin and Gryffindor, but which one will it be?_

Severus grasped the chair and thought, _My new friends, they are in Gryffindor. Please, let me go there! _The hat didn't say anything for a few seconds, and Severus got the uncomfortable feeling that it was scanning his mind still. Then, it simply said, _Gryffindor it is, then. _The hat must have said it out loud, Because Headmaster Dumbledore was taking the hat off his head. He said, "well, now that that's sorted out, time for bed! You'll have a very busy day tomorrow, I'm sure. Dumbledore then took out his wand and pointed it at a teakettle, which began to boil. And since Dumbledore was the first teacher he had time to talk to, he brought up the one subject that was really bothering him.

"Headmaster, I don't have a wand. Are we going to be using them much for a bit, until my mother is able to save up enough to buy one for me?"

The headmaster looked down on him and smiled. He seemed to do that a lot, Severus noticed. "Not to worry, Mr. Snape. The school has a fund for those in your situation, and over the weekend, we shall arrange a trip to Diagon Alley to get your wand. I assume you don't have any other supplies?" He didn't say it cruelly. He seemed honestly interested. Severus shook his head no.

"Not to worry, my boy. You're not the first to need this kind of help, and certainly wont be the last. Any other matters, Mr. Snape?" Severus shook his head again. "Then let us get you to the Gryffindor Common Room." As Severus and the Headmaster went through the school again, Severus was thinking. He was happy that he would know some people in his house already, and was greatly relieved that the school would cover his supplies. He had thought that the best he could hope for was some kind of indentured servitude to pay for his books and things, but the thought of getting a wand was exciting. He also thought about what the Headmaster said, _not the first. _The nurse had also said something along these lines. It was comforting to know that he wasn't doing anything that hadn't been done before.

They reached a portrait of an enormous lady in a pink dress, who curtsied when she saw the Headmaster. "Password, Headmaster?"

The Headmaster smiled. "Fezziweg."

The portrait hole swung inward. The headmaster said, by way of explanation, "This is your Common Room. If you don't have classes, it is place to relax and study. You will be able to gain your bedroom through the Common Room, the stairs on the right. Ask your Prefect, he should be able to show you were your room is. Good night, Mr. Snape."

The Headmaster walked back down the hallway, humming a tune. Severus took a deep breath, and climbed up into the Common Room.

The Common Room was comfortable. There were large couches and desks scattered everywhere, a fireplace with a warm fire, and pillows randomly thrown everywhere. He took a few steps into the room, when a raucous voice called out to him. "Oi, first year, what are you doing out of bed!" A tall boy with red hair was making his way towards him. He had a bright, shiny badge on the front of his robes with a "P" on it. The girl he was talking to chided him, calling out, "Now, Arthur, play nice. He probably got lost, poor little thing."

Arthur the Prefect looked at him, and said, "Oh. You Snape?" Snape nodded, and said, "Headmaster Dumbledore said you could tell me where my room was?"

Arthur The Prefect laughed. "Hell, kid, don't tell me what Prof. Dumbledore said. I know where your room is, follow me. He walked up to the stairs, stopping to give the girl he was talking to a kiss. "Was that nice enough, Molly my dear?"

The girl whipped back, "As nice as I'll get from you, Arthur Weasley." The people around her laughed appreciatively, as Arthur turned away in mock defeat. They went up the stairs, and Severus started to cry. Partly because he was really tired, and partly because he had never been friends with anyone like that. They kept going up, until Arthur the Prefect turned, started to say, "Here's your ro-". Then he saw Severus' face. "Aw, hell, kid, don't worry about it. You'll get used to it in a couple days, ok?" Severus nodded. "all right, kid. Listen, you want to talk about it, just find me. It's my job, ok?" Severus nodded again. Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and went back down the stairs. Severus opened the door, and was immediately struck by three pillows. The barely concealed laughing gave them away as Sirius, James, and Remus, and Severus picked up one of the pillows and discreetly wiped the tears off his face as he picked up one the pillows and looked for his roommates.


End file.
